The holidays are special times during the year when we get together with friends, family and other loved ones. The music, the lights, the games, the familiar smells and the traditional food–it all brings us great joy. But this season can also be one of turmoil and grief for those who have loss loved ones. The feelings produced from the loss of loved ones are not only overwhelming, but many times seem down right unbearable. How does one cope with these feelings and still perform their duties to care for their household during what is supposed to be a happy time? What can be a source of strength for one looking to move forward during these difficult times?
“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” – Isaiah: 28: 31
There are people all over the world who are struggling with grief, and holidays can be a difficult time when trying to deal with those emotions. While grief is serious and should not be overlooked, there is help and hope for anyone looking to cope with their grief and still have joy during this time of year.
What is Grief?
So, first things first. What exactly is grief? Grief is a person’s natural emotional reaction to the loss of an individual or other important aspect of their life, such as health or a job. Very often, the symptoms of grief are associated with or even mistaken for depression. However, while they share many of the same traits like sadness and separating of one’s self from society, grief doesn’t include the negative self image that goes along with depression. What’s important to remember is that grief is essential for coping with whatever loss is causing the emotional response. It can be counter productive and even dangerous to ignore one’s grief.
How to Cope With Grief
It’s important to remember that grief isn’t something that should be fought against but rather it needs to be embraced. Grief is our way of dealing with the trauma of loss. More importantly, no two people cope with grief in the same way. In other words, everyone is different and needs to undergo the process in their own way. That’s why it can be so difficult to help someone work through their grief.
With that being said, here are just a few tips to help manage grief during the holiday season…
1. Start a new tradition.
It could be something a simple as lighting a candle and saying a few words or as complex as planning a celebration. These new traditions can help with starting a new chapter in your life.
2. Read God’s word.
By doing this every day, you can draw strength from the Lord and be strong when you want to quit during this difficult time.
3. Journal your feelings.
Grief may be hard to express to others, sometimes you simply don’t know what to say or how to explain what you feel in words. Try writing it down. Journaling your feelings will help you better understand how you feel and help you manage those emotions.
4. Spend time with friends.
Spending time with family and friends can help to relieve the stress many people feel during the holidays. In other words, go and have some fun.
5. Join a support group or seek professional help.
A support group can help people work through the ups and downs associated with the loss of a loved one. Also, a therapist can be help guide you through the process.
6. Don’t be afraid to express your needs.
A grieving person’s needs can change from day to day. Sometimes, going to a holiday party is just what you need. However, on other days you just need to stay at home. Communicate those needs with the people around you.
7. Find an outlet.
Find something that’s just for you that offers a sense of relief. For some, painting helps and for others dancing is beneficial. Find a healthy hobby that you can turn to to prevent you from turning to not so healthy habits (overindulging in food, alcohol, etc.) to cope with grief.
8. Keep your loved one’s memory alive.
It may help to incorporate your loved one into your holiday traditions. Maybe including his or her favorite dish on the menu, adding a special ornament for them on the Christmas tree or looking through family albums and telling funny stories about him or her will bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart.
9. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or nursing home.
When we are helping others, we generally feel better. Spend some time with those who feel forgotten during this time of year. It will lighten their load and yours.
10. Give yourself time.
There is no set time limit on the grieving process. Even if your loved one passed away many years ago, it is natural to miss them during the special occasions such as their birthday or holidays. Work through the sadness and be patient with yourself.
What to Keep in Mind
The holidays can be both a time of great joy as well as a time for painful remembrance. And while the loss of those we love can leave a lasting impression in our lives, the changes those individuals made in our lives when they were here will last forever.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
– Matthew 5:4
While grief is a natural part of who we are, continuing forward with our lives is as well. Facing our grief is the first step on the road towards life without our loved ones by our sides. Make no mistake, it requires patience and prayer, and can be difficult, but the pain will begin to subside as you make your way through the process.
You’ll always have memories of the time you spent with your loved ones. Share those cherished moments with those around you.
Do you have any tips or ideas about how one can deal with grief and grieving? Have you lost someone and just want to share a great story about them? We’d love to hear from you!
I been through it all. Holidays are the worst. Trust in God and he will bring you through. Surround yourself with people you love and talk about your feelings. It helps alot.
We should never forget our Father in Heaven is our strong tower and when are weaken is strong, Amen and Amen
Great article Shaunda. You are right, strength can be drawn from the Lord. They that wait upon him can always renew their strength. Thanks for sharing at the right time.