Life as a working mom comes with it’s unique challenges. For many moms, the hardest part of the journey is leaving their children behind every day. Whether their little ones will spend the day in Daddy Daycare, preschool or grade school, moms fear missing milestones as they battle rush hour traffic to make it to work on time.
I had the pleasure of interviewing an inspiring working mom, this year’s Top Chef winner, Kelsey Barnard Clark. For those not familiar with her story, she’s a chef/mompreneur who left her infant son, Monroe to compete on the show Top Chef. Like most working moms, she battled mom-guilt and the second guessing that naturally comes with working and motherhood.
Despite the guilt and judgement that comes from many outside sources, working is not a choice but a necessity for most moms. The reality is that most moms work. According to the U.S. Department of Labor,
- Seventy percent of mothers with children under 18 participate in the labor force, with over 75 percent being employed full-time.
- Mothers are the primary or sole earners for 40 percent of households with children under 18 today, compared with 11 percent in 1960.
“My guilt turned more into motivation throughout the process,” Clark explained. “It finally clicked with me that being successful and working hard a direct correlation to his future.”
Moms should not feel guilty for doing what is necessary, whether that necessity is of financial or personal value.
While some women work hard to make ends meet, others opt for careers to meet personal goals. Clark is an example of a woman who cultivated her childhood love and passion for cooking, was educated and trained in culinary arts, and opened a restaurant. After becoming a mom, her love for cooking remained and she continues to pursue both her purpose as a mom, and her passion as a chef.
“Choosing to leave for 10 weeks to compete on Top Chef felt like a betrayal to my son,” Clark recalls. “It felt like I was choosing my career over his life – all the little moments I’d miss. But, again, I realized that me making my life and my future better was actually making OUR future better. Working hard and putting in time now means that I’ll get to be more present with him as he gets older. I wouldn’t trade that for the world.”
Children experience some benefits from having moms that work. Findings from the journal Work, Employment, and Society found that girls raised in homes with working moms are more likely to grow up to have successful careers. The study also found that sons of working moms spent more time as adults caring for family members.
The truth is our children are happy when we are happy. When moms are unfulfilled they usually aren’t as pleasant, short tempered and less fun.
They key to life as a working mom is balance, but balance doesn’t mean doing it all every day. “I have a lot of help and I’m not afraid to ask for it. It takes a village,” explains Clark. The best real life advice I have when it comes to balance is to be as organized as possible. You lose so much time in the clutter and catch up.”
Besides balance, moms should also embrace who they are. Moms today face so much pressure; pressure to be perfect wives, moms, employees and volunteers. It’s better for moms to be authentic and true to who God made them to be rather than trying to be the mom they see on Instagram. The doctored pictures give no real insight into the daily trials moms face.
Kelsey won Top Chef preparing dishes that were authentic to her upbringing in Alabama. “I told myself I was going to be me and ignore my surroundings. I didn’t want to win not being authentic,” Clark says. “I think learning to appreciate the good things about yourself, and give yourself some grace in the bad is the best lesson I’ve learned. ”
Moms should learn to give themselves grace. Grace to be women and grace to be moms, doing your very best every day, authentically.
“My son Monroe has the biggest sweet tooth ,” Clark shares. “I grew up eating my moms cream cheese pound cake and I want to be sure I maintain those traditions.” Here is the recipe for you to enjoy and share with your family.
Cream Cheese Pound Cake
Ingredients
- 3 sticks butter
- 1 pack cream cheese
- 3 cups sugar
- 1 tbsp vanilla
- 6 eggs
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 3 cups flour
Directions (yields 2 loaves):
- Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
- With an electric mixer, beat butter and cream cheese until smooth.
- Add sugar, and beat until fluffy (about 5 minutes).
- Add one egg at a time, beating after each addition.
- Mix in vanilla.
- Slowly add dry ingredients (in two batches) mixing until combined.
- Pour into equal amounts in (2) loaf pans (8 1/2 X 4 1/2) and bake 60-75 minutes.
- Cool 10 minutes in pan and turn out cakes.
- NOTE: a toothpick inserted in the center should come out almost clean when finished.
