Today’s woman is so multi-faceted that it’s hard to feel confident with any one task when we’re constantly juggling a million tasks! We’re wives, mothers, business owners, workers, entrepreneurs, writers, amateur home designers, 24/7 snack stations, personal chefs, maids, and chauffeur’s. In today’s society, we breathe women’s empowerment. Being “it all” is expected of us. I think we’re all guilty of sometimes forgetting that we’re not Beyoncé.
Within my circle of moms, I chat with a variety of women, from stay-at-home mothers and full-time working mothers, to women like myself: the work-at-home mom. We all share one thing in common: guilt. I know we all struggle with confidence because truth be told, we’re managing a lot. One question I asked my mom circle while writing this piece was, “What is the hardest part about being a working mother?” Almost everyone answered: balance and missing out on the moments by going to work.
Year one as a new mother and a business owner and I quickly watched my own confidence go out the window and guilt become a constant sidekick. As a work-from-home mother, balance became a struggle. Though I’m fortunate not to sacrifice the moments with my babies, I work in the mornings, evenings and weekends, waking at 5AM for the needed quiet time. This schedule left me with no time to myself. I grew exhausted, resentful and then guilty for feeling this way. I needed a confidence makeover.
When the New Year hit, I was determined to try to find ways to balance my work, my child, my home and squeeze in a little time for mommy’s well-being. I’ve come to find how important it is for mom to take time for herself. When mom’s happy, the household is happy. Here are my tips for building a confident mother.
Confidence-Building Tips for Mom
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Shake the guilt.
Can we agree as a society of mothers to STOP guilting ourselves for the crazy things? I think there are two major questions that always bring me back to perspective when I feel myself creeping on board the guilt train. ‘Do you love your child? Do you show your child your love?’ If yes, stop stressing yourself over everything else. The most important thing you will ever offer your child is love no matter what you do for a living, no matter if you take that girl’s night out or not.
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Write daily or weekly “mom affirmations” or MOMtras
Most of the mothers I speak to tell me that in order to build confidence while working, they frequently remind themselves that by working they’re showing their child how important it is to have good work ethic and be independent. Little notes to yourself serve as confidence boosters on the day-to-day and keep the working mom life in perspective.
MOM AFFIRMATIONS:
Everything I do is for my child. I’m showing my child how strong and successful women can be.
I’m setting a good example for my child to be hardworking and independent.
My fulfillment and happiness matter in creating the happiness of the home.
I cherish the moments I have with my children even more.
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Create a routine and schedule to find balance.
Time blocking and daily task lists have changed my mom life for the better and I swear by them. I love a good planner and believe every woman needs one. I’d recommend the Day Designer, they have both large and small to fit your bag. Taking a few minutes every morning to write your gratitude, your affirmation and your daily schedule will help bring a sense of organization to the home. I time block everything I need to do for the week including household chores, meal planning, activities for my daughter, and work for my PR company and it has helped me feel organized and confident in my ability to run a home and business.
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Cut Time For Family Activities
When you are a working mother, it’s important to spend quality time with your child and family. You do miss those moments but one perk in working outside of the home is that you CHERISH that time so much more. Make the most of your cherished moments by planning a family activity every weekend whether that’s going to the zoo, a museum, a park or simply having a dance party in the living room– children value those memories with their family above all and it will be good for your confidence.
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YOU Time
I’ll admit this is something that took me the better part of a year to learn how valuable it is to take a time out for yourself. No matter if you’re working in or out of the home, when you’re constantly going and going – it’s not good for the soul! Taking time to do something that makes YOU happy is a necessity for the balance and joy of the home. Think about the little things that you enjoyed before you became a parent and cut out time to do those things. Little things you can do for yourself:
Go shopping.
Get your nails done.
Take up a hobby. Scrapbook your baby and family pictures.
Start an exercise routine.
Take a nap.
Take a long bath.
Have a piece of chocolate.
Schedule a massage.
Do whatever it is that makes you feel loved and just as important as your family and don’t feel guilty! At the end of the day, you’re a strong woman and a great mother. Keep the balance going and the confidence will come.
