There is no easy way to be a mother. You can work full-time, stay home with your kids, go to school; whatever you choose, it will be a difficult path because motherhood is difficult. But just as we find the joy in changing diapers, or the pleasure in a job that fulfills us, there are positives to finishing school. Too often moms make a decision not to attend school based on what they think is expected of them as a mother. Going back to school as a mother is indeed challenging- just as anything else in motherhood- however, if you feel pulled in that direction, you will likely find it fulfilling and enriching. Like all challenges moms face, they find a way to beat the odds and overcome every obstacle.
Here are three ways that make going to school and being a mom difficult, followed by three reasons why it’s totally worth it.
What makes it hard:
- Expectations
The one thing that makes balancing school with motherhood difficult is the expectation you put on yourself. When you don’t reach your own expectations, you feel disappointed (that you let yourself or others down) and guilty (that you may have to put school before family at times, and vice versa). Not only do you give yourself expectations, but you will find that your professors, your employer and your family will all have expectations for you. Whether it is as simple as completing an assignment for school, keeping up with the household cleaning, or meeting office deadlines, there is always something on your plate. Your professors will expect you to complete your work despite your extra duties at home. Your family will expect you to cook a meal, keep up with the groceries, play with the kids, tuck the kids in, among numerous other “motherhood duties”. If your husband or significant other is supportive, then they will understand that you have another “job” and must sometimes work on that job at home (i.e. homework).
- Misunderstood
If you are working, you likely face misunderstanding among coworkers, as well as classmates, professors, and family. If you are not working, you may also face misunderstanding, but among friends who assume that you have similar duties to those of a stay-at-home-mom. Many people who have never experienced school and child rearing simultaneously fail to understand the extra work that it involves. Rather than going to work and coming home to rest, you go to school (and perhaps work as well) and come home only to do more school work. Another way being a student parent is misunderstood by many is needing child care, despite not necessarily having anywhere to go. People may not understand that, although you may not have school every day, you likely have school work to complete and therefore, need child care in order to successfully complete it.
- Sacrifice
As a student mom, you will realize that your life has many dimensions. You are a mom, you might be a wife or a single mother, you might work as well, and you attend school. Your priorities will have to shift depending on your school work load. During finals week, you may sacrifice time with your family. At the beginning of the semester, you will likely have opportunities to spend with family and sacrifice school. You’ll realize that everything comes in moderation. You might spend more time on school one evening and warm up a meal in the microwave for your family instead of cooking. You might set school work aside one day to take your kids on a day trip out of town. Whatever it is, there are always sacrifices to be made. While you may not see it right away, all the sacrifices and hard work will pay off.
If you are considering going back to school, or even continuing your current education, you will find that though the work is hard, the reward is great.
Here are three reasons you should gain further education and work past the hardships.
What makes it worth it:
- You are following your dreams and living out your potential.
If you are even considering going back to school, there is a reason behind that. You are motivated by a dream or by a
- More opportunities.
Whether you are currently in the field you’d like to obtain a degree in or if you are thinking of switching careers, going back to school will drive you forward in that direction. You will find that in addition to gaining a degree, you will acquire opportunities for success for yourself that will pour into your family.
- You are modeling the value of education for your kids.
Your children will see how hard you work to achieve your goals. They will see a mother who is dedicated, persistent, determined, hard-working, motivated, and goal-oriented. They see you finishing school work and conclude that what you are doing must be important, because of the time you put in for your academic achievement. You are modeling for them what it means to value education. You are modeling a positive attitude (by not giving up). You are showing them that school is something that can be enjoyed. Most of all, you are demonstrating an attitude of productivity and growth. By becoming more educated, whether you are continuing education or going back to school, you are modeling a growth mindset- which can be vital for a child to become motivated and empowered.
Going back to school as a mother- with children at any age- can be daunting, but you will find that it’s worth the sacrifice. Get a team of people to support and encourage you and before you know it you will be finished!
