Your besties. Your crew. Your people. Your girls. They’re the ones who’ll celebrate with cake on your best day and buy you tacos on your worst day. But how do we make sure we have time for them on a regular old Tuesday? Friendships are like plants. They need nurturing and watering to grow. But where do we find the time for our “ride-or-dies” when life seems to be pulling us in a thousand different directions?
- Be deliberate. The key is to make quality time aforethought. Pick a day and time that works for both of you and write it down.
Commit to having lunch on Friday at 1 pm instead of just saying “let’s get together sometime.” Writing it down or plugging it into the calendar on your phone gives the event significance, much like a doctor’s appointment or a job interview. - Make the ordinary extraordinary. You attend church. Your BFF attends church. Instead of trying to squeeze in plans after church on a Sunday, make plans to attend your friend’s church with her if you live nearby. Routine activities and events can be special occasions if you can do them with a friend. Go to the gym together, run errands, or grab a coffee. You were going to do it anyway, so why not invite her along and have some fun?
- Keep it on the cheap. Many times, people back out of plans when they realize they agreed to do something before they gave a thought to the cost or when they’ve been surprised by an expense. Ever had your car fall apart right before a vacation or your washing machine die right before you were to pay for your child’s summer camp? Yep. Money can really railroad our plans. To lessen the chance that you’ll back out because of a bashed budget, make plans to do free things like hang out at each other’s home and visit over a plate of homemade nachos. Take your kids to the park and visit on a park bench. Find a free outdoor concert. After all, it’s her company that’s the real draw.
- Connect at the heart. Nothing can supplant the intimacy that comes from face-to-face interaction in a friendship. While that is true, the most loving thing we can do for those who mean the most to us is to pray for them, even if they live far away. Buy your bestie a devotional and get a copy for yourself. Commit to reading it each day together—even on your own time, in your own spaces—and check in with each other to see how it affected them or what they learned from it. Conclude your sister check-in by asking her, “How can I pray for you today?” This significant expression of love and encouragement will help reinforce why you are friends, to begin with, and you’ll fortify a bond that’ll last a lifetime.
“If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:10)
