Cora Jakes-Coleman on Discovering Motherhood: From Infertility to Adoption

I remember my first miscarriage vividly.  Years before, I was told by doctors that I may not be able to have children as a result of a fractured pelvic bone. “The doctors were right,” I thought to myself.  I sat motionless in the cold hospital bed sobbing and wondering “would I ever be a mom?” I was broken. I was devastated. I was terrified.

I wasn’t alone. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control), about 6.1 million women in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant. Despite the miscarriage, I was able to conceive naturally.  Yet, there was still some despair.  Some of my closest friends were battling infertility and believing God for a miracle.

Cora Jakes-Coleman

In my quest to shed light on infertility and the options available for women, I interviewed renowned Pastor, Cora Jakes-Coleman. Coleman, daughter of Bishop T.D. Jakes, best-selling author, and sought-after preacher, is quite candid about her struggles with infertility. “I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) at the age of 22 years old, and I was absolutely devastated,” Coleman explained.

To overcome the infertility caused by PCOS, Cora elected IVF as an alternative method to conceive. She describes feeling angry and pulverized after learning that the second round of IVF was ineffective, yet she channeled that emotion into an inspirational blog and a book, Faithing It: Bringing Purpose Back to Your Life!

“I refused to let infertility become bigger than my faith. I know God has the power to do what doctors say is impossible.”

– Cora Jakes-Coleman

Adoption

Women desiring motherhood may find adoption as an opportunity to raise and love a child. Whether you give birth or adopt, you are a mom nonetheless. “I never attach motherhood to birthing, but rather what you build, and nurture. It is not the birthing, but the nurturing that makes you a mother, ” Coleman says.

Cora’s road to adoption was tedious and trying, but worth it. “Adoption was a long process with a lot of paperwork,” Coleman explains. “We were able to adopt our first child through foster care.” Her daughter was adopted at the age of three and her son came into the family at birth.

God decided that me being a mother wasn’t going to look like I wanted, but it was going to be about what He needed from me for the children that are walking on earth broken and in need. – Cora Jakes-Coleman

Motherhood: Finding Balance

Now, with a son and daughter, and a growing ministry, it’s likely that Cora would be overwhelmed, attempting to balance it all. Notwithstanding, she explains the importance of having a village to support her and making family her first priority.

“My work is often done at home so I can’t necessarily compartmentalize, but I make sure that I schedule my work at home around my children,” she says of her work-life balance. “Having my husband and team makes managing and balancing roles much easier.”

Time with God

Being spiritually grounded is another important part of motherhood, equipping working moms for the daily stresses of work and home. “I make time with God intentional because my day can be very hectic,” Coleman explains. “I make room in the empty time and spaces,” she explains.

“For example, in the shower I am listening to books, and the Bible. When I’m riding in my car I am listening to worship music. When I am waiting in the line to pick up my kids, I take that time to pray.”

Self-Care

Cora also details the importance of finding time to just ‘be.’ As working moms, we are either being mom, wife, employee or CEO. It’s important that we make room in our schedules for us. “I pick a day or two in the month just to spend time with me. Whether it’s going to cryotherapy and getting a compression massage for 30 minutes or going to a nail salon,” Coleman says. “I also just really enjoy binge watching shows on Netflix.”

Be Encouraged

Encouragement is definitely needed for the woman dealing with infertility, as it can often lead to an identity crisis. “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” are questions that many women ask. The best place to go for encouragement is to the Lord. “Praying encouraged me,” Coleman says. “A few scriptures I lived by during that time are:

• He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD. – Psalms 113:9
• You will be blessed more than any other people; none of your men or women will be childless, nor will any of your livestock be without young. –  Deuteronomy 7:14″

As you journey through the process of becoming a mother, always remember that who you are as a woman is not defined by your ability to conceive. You are a child of God, a woman of God, and the Lord has great things in store for you! God has a plan for you! You are loved, you are seen by God, and you are not forsaken!