The cat’s out of the bag. I’m an introvert. I have always been an introvert, and I have made great strides to try and reduce the shy quality I have seemed to possess my whole life. I have not done this because I want to, but because the calling God has on my life has forced me to come out of my shell. You cannot run a crisis pregnancy center without talking to people. Trust me on this. I’ve also had to learn the importance of connecting with others despite being an introvert, pushing myself to seek support and connection.
Since I have been in this position as executive director, I have grown in leaps and bounds. I am no longer afraid to make a telephone call, I just don’t like it. I have completely overcome the fear of speaking in public by the grace of God. Meetings no longer intimidate me. Meeting new people isn’t my favorite, but it doesn’t create an overwhelming desire to hide in a closet somewhere, so I guess that’s a step in the right direction.
I have always enjoyed being around people, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I need to know the people really well. And even then, crowds of friends and family can wear me out. Not nearly like they used to, as being in crowds has stretched my ability to not go into a coma after trying to regain all of the strength I seemed to have lost while talking to people.
As I have been observing this growth in my character that God has orchestrated and performed, I have noticed that I have become increasingly lonely. Even when surrounded by people I love and enjoy, I have been battling with this gnawing presence of emptiness.
A few months ago, I began to experience strange behavior in myself. And whenever I have a question about something I either ask God, or I ask Google. This time I asked both and got the same reply, “Burnout.”
Aw yes, that terrible word, so many people can relate to. The aftermath of having given your all until you have nothing left, and then continuing to give more. Giving at home, giving at work…you’re just giving everyone every piece of you and you get the feeling that nothing you are doing is really making a difference. All of these things started to overwhelm me. I Googled the symptoms of burnout and here is what I found:
•Fatigue
•Anxiety
•Depression
•Anger
•Isolation
•Pessimism
•Detachment
•Loss of Enjoyment
•Hopelessness
Many in that list were things I could relate to. I wasn’t sleeping; I felt like the world was ending, I felt like a failure. So I did what any rational person would do and I Googled how to manage burnout and I found that it is possible. With rest, exercise, vacation, self-care, or finding a hobby, you can actually overcome burnout without having to quit your job. This was good news for me, and after applying these methods, I began to feel refreshed. I started sleeping at night again, feeling rested, and even excited that I am making a difference in the world around me.
Now that I am at the tail end of this mini burnout session, I have been doing a lot of reading about it. And something stands out to me. Connection. Or rather, the lack of. When we do not have connection in our lives, we feel isolated. It can make us feel unloved, or like we have little value. The support we can get from those around us can make all the difference in avoiding burnout.
Gaining connection as an introvert is an interesting notion, but not an impossible one. It can also be difficult to 
forge relationships as a mom with little time for a social life. Each month, I travel to a nearby pregnancy center where a group of executive directors from other centers meet. There we share our stories, or struggles and triumphs, and pray for one another, as well as get additional training. It is this sort of meeting that I would have avoided in the past. But it is this same monthly meeting that will offer the connection I need to help support me as a ministry leader in a tough area.
If we can be vulnerable enough to share with those who have earned our trust, and even more with those who haven’t. But when we push ourselves to connect with others, we can gain a connection that becomes the fuel to help keep us going. It is an effort, but one that is well worth it.
