Moms and Mental Health: Balancing it All Healthily

Let’ talk about something taboo….moms and mental health. Mental health has become a prominent illness, affecting millions and the topic has recently made headlines  as mass shootings continue to plague our nation. According to Mental Health America, “approximately 12 million women in the United States alone experience clinical depression in a year.” Women of all ages that deal with premenstrual syndrome, childbirth, infertility, menopause, or the daily trials of life can inherit negatively impacting emotions. Women face unique obstacles, ranging from single parenting to marriage and balancing that with educational pursuits and/or careers can be a challenge. Life demands a lot from everyone, especially working mothers. As mom’s transition through different life phases, the change is not always smooth. Sometimes the change leads to a breakdown.

A mental illness can be inherited through genetics or life’s changes and experiences. Many new mothers deal with baby blues, however, it gets serious when the harsh emotions of post-partum depression persist. Newborn babies are blessings, however a woman’s daily routine all together changes. A mother’s life is turned upside down, and there are new implications into what needs to be completed before the day ends. The baby, a career, and life can get hectic. The demands of work life and home life can lead women to neglect their self-care.

At times, the bombardment of different emotions leads to dangerous outcomes. It can lead to neglecting oneself and their loved ones, including their children. This type of neglect sometimes brings harsh emotions, such as guilt. According to Ylva Elvin-Nowak, a Psychology Professor at Stockholm University in Sweden, “Guilt arises when a woman believes she is unable to live up to her responsibility due to conflicts between her demands on herself.” Any mom knows the emotion of guilt very well, whether she works or stays home, mom’s all deal with a certain level of guilt.

There are a ton of pressures placed on moms every day and sometimes it can be too much—from the clothes in the dryer to the deadlines at work. It is important to reevaluate one’s priorities when you feel overwhelmed.

Do I have too much on my plate? What can wait? Have I over extended myself?

A mom must remember that her health is important.  When she recognizes a decline in her health, whether it be physically or mentally, she must place herself first. It is easier said than done because putting oneself before others, especially our children, often generates feelings of guilt. These feelings can often lead to aggression which can become outward or inward anger.

Mental health has a stigma that prohibits people from seeking help. It is vital to ask for help when you don’t feel like yourself; bouts of sadness and spurts of anxiety for example, are emotions you may need help with. Here are a list of symptoms that are specific to mental illness:

• Confused thinking
• Prolonged depression (sadness or irritability)
• Feelings of extreme highs and lows
• Excessive fears, worries and anxieties
• Social withdrawal
• Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits
• Strong feelings of anger
• Strange thoughts (delusions)
• Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there (hallucinations)
• Growing inability to cope with daily problems and activities
• Suicidal thoughts
• Numerous unexplained physical ailments
• Substance use

Turn to your faith and loved ones for support, but also seek medical professionals. Many times, medications and therapy are required, but it will end the roller coaster of emotions and help bring balance to your daily life. I am no stranger to this topic and have both a psychologist and a psychiatrist to help me win the battle of mental health. But I have found that even with their assistance, I am not transformed into a superhero simply by medication and counseling. What transforms anyone is the choice to be a better you. You make the decision to change your life; ultimately, no one can change how you feel but you. Yes, medication and therapy help, but you must be willing to talk about how you feel and work through those emotions consistently. Your outcry does not make you weak, it makes you a warrior. Keep on fighting! It is cliché, but life will get better.

Resources:

Mental Health Inspirational Storytelling: https://thisismybrave.org

Taking the Pledge to Live Stigma Free: https://www.nami.org/stigma

Letter of a Loved One Living with a Mental Illness: https://themighty.com/2016/12/response-to-people-who-dont-take-mental-illness-seriously/

Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/ Text: 838255 Phone No.: 1 (800) 273-8255 (Press 1)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/