It comes like clockwork. No way around it. That monthly cycle is on its way and you feel tired, irritable, bloated and hungry. Plus the kids are screaming, the house is a wreck and you have a conference call to somehow get yourself “ready” for. Yet, all you really want to do is grab the biggest pajamas you can find and snuggle up in the bed…a warm fuzzy thought that’s just not possible. So what do we do? How do we manage parenting and PMS?
The P to the M to the S
There’s no need to educate you on premenstrual syndrome (PMS). We all know what it is. But did you know that the emotional changes you feel are medical? You feel like you’re on a roller coaster and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Too many women are made to feel bad and inadequate about PMS and their menstrual cycles. I even heard a Pastor say that it was all made up and an excuse for women to not walk in the fruit of the spirit.
Let’s clear this up once and for all, PMS is a medical condition experienced by women a week to two weeks before their period. It results from a decline in estrogen and progesterone levels which drop the week before your period. According to WebMD, “85% of women experience some degree of PMS.”
Some of the symptoms women experience include:
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Irritability
- Oversensitvity
- Crying
- Cravings
In addition to these symptoms, some women also experience bodily pain from swollen or tender breasts, headaches, back pain, and acne.
Parenting
Despite the surge of hormones that lead to a roller coaster of emotions, we still have to parent. The way we parent is often a result of our mental state. It is then imperative for moms to take steps to reduce the impact of PMS. This is accomplished through exercise, dietary changes and stress management.The fact is, stress only worsens the symptoms associated with PMS.
Consider with following in your quest to manage stress during this time:
- Ask for help. A helping hand may be just what you need a week or two before your period. This may be the week to hire a maid to help with cleaning, ask hubby to takeover bedtime routines, or hire a sitter.
- Don’t add anything else to your plate. This is certainly not the time to take on more tasks. Manage what you have. In fact, depending on your work load, it may be necessary to relegate tasks.
- Do something special for you. You deserve to treat yourself to something nice. A hot bath, scoop of ice cream, a new pair of earrings or a pedicure are all great options to consider.
- Don’t hold in your feelings. Your emotions may be all over the place, but holding them in doesn’t help. Let it all out mom! Virtual therapists are great options for busy moms with little time. A quick chat with a best friend or even a journal entry are also good selections.
- Take care of your body. Engage in activity and eat healthy. These practices will help with PMS, and have positive, long lasting effects on your overall health.
- Go to bed. Staying up late and not getting enough rest increase the chances of you being irritable and grumpy. Turn off the T.V., put the phone away and count some sheep. You’ll be rejuvenated and prepared for the day.
Don’t skip-out on self-care. It’s actually the time of the month when you want to make sure that you are caring for yourself; mentally, physically and spiritually. We can be better parents when we take better care of ourselves.
Patience
The irritability and anxiety experienced during this time can cause us to snap at our children for behaviors that we would otherwise handle with more grace. We need an extra dose of patience to parent through PMS.
Patience is developed; it is a learned skill that we aren’t born with. We develop patience by being placed in situations that require it. What better situation than in the midst of a PMS storm?
“God’s way of answering the Christian’s prayer for more patience, experience, hope and love often is to put him into the furnace of affliction.” –Richard Cecil
Look to God
Meditating on the word of God is the best way to develop in our weak areas. Our goal as believers is to become more like God, a heavenly Father who is patient, loving and kind towards us despite our behavior or attitude.
Reading and studying God’s word equips us for every battle, even the battle to become more patient. Here are some scriptures on patience:
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- Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. – Proverbs 14:29
- Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. – Ephesians 4:2
- Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. – Proverbs 16:32
- Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12
One of my favorites is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NLT. It addresses the very struggles we face during this time and inspires us to love, which is patient and kind.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.“
Other things we can do to be more patient when we become frustrated with our families include taking deep breaths, taking breaks when needed (Yes, mom. Run for the closet for a minute or two), and praying. A quick prayer will give you just the strength you need to juggle work and play referee to the kids.
It’s not easy. PMS can be hard to navigate, especially when you have to care for your children simultaneously, but remember that you have tools and resources available to help you. You are not alone!
How do you manage PMS and parent with patience? We would love to hear from you.
