What if we quit sabotaging our free time with more busy work? If we quit taking on tasks out of guilt? What if we quit sacrificing self-care for the sake of people-pleasing? What if we quit saying “yes” and loosened our tongues so that two-letter word we’re all so afraid of rolled off it easier?
If you’re seeking permission to quit, here you go. You’re welcome.
In a world where women can be anything and do anything, many of us have done just that. We’ve accepted opportunities to be and do because we can. And we think we should. And we’re good at it. We accept that we live in a society that glamorizes the art of hurriedness and perpetual busyness because after all, that’s what Starbucks is for. The world would have us believe that all we need is coffee and a little more mascara to help us get through. I wish it were that simple.
Girl, quit already, would ya?
Unless you plan on living in a monastery on a mountain, a life of outside obligations probably isn’t in the cards for you, precious lady. In our worlds, we will be asked to stay late, to volunteer, and to keep giving long after our wells have run dry. Some of us will do too much and our relationships will suffer. Some of us will have our stomachs turned to Swiss cheese by the ulcers that will eat them raw. While letting loose on Taco Tuesday might numb the pain temporarily, Wednesday comes with a whole new set of opportunities to overextend yourself.
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. –Proverbs 17:22
Whether it’s a job or an activity, some opportunities come only to steal your joy. While you can’t always quit your job right away or ditch difficult people, you can ask yourself a few questions to figure if that thing you’re doing is causing your life to thrive or fall off kilter.
1. Do I really love what I am doing?
If you have a job that makes you dread Mondays on Saturday, girl, it might be time to quit and find a better fit. If you have to do something in the meantime that isn’t your thing, but the culture brings a sense of peace, it might be time to kick that gig to the curb with steel-toe boots and paddle to calmer waters. I once told a toxic boss that I would rather change diapers for a dollar an hour that put up with any more of his garbage. Not saying this is a wise career move, but hey! It smelled like freedom to me.
2. Am I wasting time doing this?
Sure, it might make you feel good to bake homemade treats for your child’s birthday party but if the thought of cruising Pinterest for a week trying to find the perfect recipe gives you hives, you might be wasting your time. Other moms might do it, but you don’t have to. Kids don’t care where cookies come from. They just like cookies. Pick some up from the store!
3. Will what I am doing now make a difference in a year?
I just finished my master’s degree this winter. In the five years it took to finish, there many days I thought about quitting. I grumbled about how much of my time it took up and what I could be doing instead. Before throwing in the towel (or textbooks) ask yourself if this time-eater-upper will benefit you a year from now. If not, it might be time to let it go. If so, remind yourself it’s not forever.
4. Is this affecting my personal well-being or health?
I used to be the kind of person who checked my work emails periodically while on vacation. I knew this was sabotaging my hard-earned time off, but I promised myself I would only check while I was in the bathroom. Two years ago, I checked my work email for the final time while I was on vacation. I opened an email only to learn they were planning on terminating my position when I returned. Needless to say, I was nauseous the next four days. Just don’t do it.
Moderation—it ain’t just for diets
There’s a great article by Forbes magazine that helps pinpoint ways people can bring about balance by setting boundaries and establishing personal routines to help get things done that need to get done without sacrificing personal well-being in the process. It’s great that we have full lives, but if one component is disproportionately eating your time up, you may need to practice saying no. If you need help organizing tasks, here is a list of apps that can help you with prioritizing and time management.
Measuring out the big parts of our lives—faith, friends, family–gives us an idea of how much room we have left for other things. The truth is–you don’t have to do everything, but you must make yourself a thing. If it doesn’t check the four boxes above, consider handing it off to the next person. Do meaningful work however and wherever you choose to do it. Ask God to help weed out what’s unhealthy and not the best use of your precious time.
