If you are a parent, you know how there is always this feeling of ensuring your kids’ safety. It is a universal truth that parents want their kids safe and sounds no matter how old they are. I am a mother of two teenagers, 15 and 18. I am not looking for any sympathy, but I want you to understand how confusing and difficult parenting a teenager can be. This article will help you get over your parenting fears. If you have heard about the parenting hazards, all of them are true. Parenting a teenager is a lot different than parenting a toddler. It is indeed more exhausting but emotionally.
Almost every kid born in this century is a digital native. So are mine, and both of them were successful. They wanted their smartphones once they finished their 6th grade. Like most of the parents, at first, I was not in favor of giving such advanced technology in their naïve hands. However, their compelling reasons won the argument. What if the bus broke down and we need you to pick us up? Would it not be nice if we have our own phone to call dad, so we do not have to borrow you? What if there is an emergency and you are not home?
These reasons were valid, and as every good parent would do, I allowed them to have their first phone. However, giving my teenagers their own smartphones meant that I had to be more careful than ever. Of course, I gave them their phone with the right words of advice and warnings, but everyone knows, teenagers can be unpredictable. So, at first, I had certain rules for them to use their phone. But, as they grow, there is an understandable growing need for smartphones. They need their phone to keep in contact with their friends, complete their school assignments, and much more. But, as most of you will understand, parents have this fear that their family meetings will turn into a slack-jawed silenced time where everyone is on their phones.
To avoid that and ensure my kid’s online safety, I chose to monitor their online activities.
Should parents monitor their child’s movements?
Now, as a school counselor, many parents ask this one question that is, “Should I monitor my child’s phone?”
One of the main issues that come with it is the invasion of your kid’s privacy. Amanda Lamb, writer of “Go Ask Mom” says, “It is easy to argue that we should not track our children, that it is an invasion of privacy. But the converse of this is that the genie is out of the bottle. Why would you not want to know where your child is when technology has made it possible to have this information?”
Now that you have the views of the expert, I would like to add another thing. There are always two sides to a coin, and so does the answer to your question. Monitoring your child can help you ensure their safety, but it can also ruin your relationship with your kids. However, the result depends on how far you take the monitoring. Many kids consider this as spying. They might think that you do not trust them enough to live freely. For example, if they are with their friends, having lunch or studying, what is wrong with that? Your unnecessary tracking might ignite rebellious behavior in your teen. However, one of the most significant things that can help you get over the fear of invading your kid’s privacy is your relationship with them. If you and your kid trust each other, you will have the most non-problematic relationship.
According to the author of “Untangled – guiding teenage girls through the seven transitions into adulthood”, you should make them trust you. Lisa Damour says, “Parents might help their tween or teenager move toward independence by saying that you expect them to tell you where they will be, to let you know if their plans change and to respond if we reach out. You will confirm their location by phone for a while, but once we feel that you are on top of things, you will stop looking over their shoulder.”
Personally, I think monitoring your kids’ online activities is an obligatory task for parents. According to Pew research results, 61% of the parents check their kid’s web browsing history. Linda Charmaraman, director at Wellesley Centers for Women Youth and Media & Wellbeing Research Lab, reported a difference. She says “There is evidence that parental monitoring of online and mobile content is associated with lower problematic internet behaviors, such as internet addiction and being a perpetrator of cyberbullying.”
Why should parents monitor their kids online?
There are several reasons why monitoring teenagers is essential. Last year, I found that some kid from school was trying to bully my daughter by posting her goofy pictures on a fake account. I got to about it through the monitoring app that I was using. It was yet another incident that reminded me of how essential monitoring my kid’s smartphone was. Some of the online hazards that kids could encounter are:
- Cyberbullying
- Personality theft
- Online harassment
- Predators
- Fake websites/ scams
According to a study, 42% of kids have been bullied on social media platforms, and 35% were targets of online threatening.
My elder daughter just started driving this year, and I can feel the dramatic change in my concerns about her safety. Here are some apps that offer monitoring.
1. Spyzie – How it helps
This monitoring app allows you to have an extensive detailed view of the phone you want to monitor. It helps you to keep an eye on your children without getting their attention. You can check their contacts, calls and texts logs, location, and much more.
You can also use Spyzie to keep an eye on your kids’ social media activities. Spyzie supports different apps like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, etc. It also offers many other advanced features like screen-capture, keylogger, ambient recording, call recording, and many others. These functions make it an impeccable solution for suspicious partners who want to keep track of every detail.
2. XNSPY – How it helps
XNSPY is a monitoring app that offers many advanced features to ensure your kid’s safety in both the offline and online world. It has helped me a lot to keep track of my teenage daughter when I am away. It allows you to ensure that they are away from all the online hazards remotely. Some of the features that it offers are: Phone log monitoring, instant messages app tracking and GPS location tracking
GPS location is one of the most useful features that XNSPY offers. You can track the real-time location of your kid through this feature. You can check the location history, as well. It also provides another function called geo-fencing that lets you mark an area and send alerts if your kid is near that location.
3. Quostodio – How it helps
This software offers a free monitoring service for those moms and dads on a budget. You get a 30 day report of your child’s online activity, social networking activity, GPS tracking, pornography blocking and much more. They also offer YouTube monitoring which lets parents in on what their children are searching for and watching on YouTube.
Monitoring your children may sound like an invasion of privacy but there are so many dangers online. From bullying to porn, monitoring helps is safeguard our children from inappropriate material and gives us the peace fo mind that they are creating safe, healthy habits online.
