As a married, working mom of five, with a blog and volunteer commitments, I always get asked, how do you do it?” or “How do you balance a career and five children?” The honest answer is I don’t, at least not ALL of the time. I really don’t think anyone has mastered having a consistent work-life balance.
It’s hard to control what is going on with your kids and even harder to control what’s going on with work. I will have times when home is not as crazy so I can focus more on work, and times when work is not as crazy so I focus on the kids.
It’s a Juggle
The key is understanding things are not going to be “balanced” all of the time. We have to prioritize and determine what balls need to be dropped in order to keep from getting burned out. I heard a very good analogy about having balance in your life: We are all juggling balls in the air, some of them are glass (the important things we MUST maintain), some are plastic (things that can be put to the side). There are going to be times when something is going to be dropped. You just need to make sure it’s one of the plastic balls that won’t get damaged if it falls and not a glass one that will break and cause a huge mess if dropped.
Prioritizing is about getting the most important things done today and tackling what can wait at another time. It’s about not taking on more than you can handle and saying ‘no’ gracefully so that you have room in your life for relationships and self-care.
Trying to manage a household with five kids, be productive at work and make sure I’m meeting my commitments with the organizations I volunteer with can be very difficult. I try to give myself enough time in the day to keep up with everything, but there are times where things have to be put off until another time so I am better able to manage the things that are most important.My Schedule
The only things I have scheduled is when I wake up and when it’s time to watch Rachel Maddow! My day varies depending on what day it is. Flexibility is everything for me!
A typical day starts at 6:45am when I prepare breakfast and then commence to planning my day which consists of mapping out meetings and errands. I also set reminders for the kids’ activities. From 11:00am to 4:00pm is a haze of meetings and emails and fussing at kids for not doing schoolwork, for being too loud, for beating each other up, etc. After my last meeting ends, I take 30 minutes to tie up loose ends and close my computer for the day. I then figure out dinner before I hop on my Board meeting, and once that ends it’s bath time and bed time for the littles. After they are settled, I watch Rachel Maddow, exchange funny memes with the husband, and then I pass out to one of my favorite sleep stories or meditations.
I also use this time to meal plan, grocery shop, do laundry, pay bills, and check grades for the kids to make sure they are staying on track.
Self-Care
Me time is any time I can get to myself to read a book, drink coffee on my back porch, even to sit on the floor of my closet in the dark and have a good cry when things become too much and I need to let it out. People tend to think of self-care as a bubble bath or a day at the spa. Self-care is really about knowing when to stop and take a breath before things become too stressful, or allowing yourself to get the frustration out so you don’t stay in a constant state of tension. Being in tune with your mind and body is so important because when they are giving you signs to slow it down, you are able to recognize them and act accordingly.
I keep an open line with my Creator and thank Him continuously for all of the lessons and blessings given to me that have helped shape the person I am today.
Remember, no one has it all. Be grateful for the small victories in life, like your son putting your daughter’s hair stuff where it belongs (because you left it on the kitchen counter earlier in the day) instead of shoving it into a corner, making you want to throw a shoe because you are always telling your kids to put things where they belong. Rome was not created in a day, and you can’t do all of the things in a single day.
Pace yourself, give yourself a ton of grace, and know that you are a great mom in your own way. Every mom has their own set of super powers, and we should all learn to embrace them instead of focusing on what we feel like we aren’t doing. As long as my kids are happy and healthy, I know I’m doing a dang good job.
