Is it so? Are working moms, in most regards, absolutely not okay? The life of a woman has evolved significantly due to changes in societal norms from the mid-twentieth century to our current time. Anyone can tell you having children is a full-time job. However, staying home with kids while simultaneously being the primary housekeeper, event organizer, and backbone of the family is more than just a job. It’s lonesome, exhausting, and stressful. This was the primary role of women in the 1950’s & 60’s. Rolling into the new millennium, mothers are working full-time careers all while juggling the same roles as the housewives before them. We are more than exhausted, but where do we go from here?
How Did We Get Here?
In this millennia, the pressure of doing it all is problematic to women’s health.
The responsibilities and societal norms of women’s unspoken to-do’s are growing, yet the recognition and support of handling this overwhelming load is absent.
These unbalanced roles dictated to women have always been prominent, and in the 1950’s pharmaceutical companies started introducing a wonder drug to help women cope with reoccurring anxieties. Women’s emotional problems were often the focus of magazine articles like Ladies Home Journal & Cosmopolitan. They were urging ladies to grab these “Mother’s Little Helpers” (Rolling Stones, 1966) and get relief when dealing with life’s stressors. Some of those being:
Essentially, the normal responses to stress in a woman’s life was disregarded, thrown aside, and replaced with tranquilizers. With emblematic family responsibilities solely lying on the shoulders of stay-at-home moms, society started pushing yet another idea…the role of the working woman. This mom can “do it all“, and it stuck.
Even decades later, mothers are still working full-time with little help. We currently juggle being chief players in the home (bills/cleaning/family life, etc.), but are also solely responsible for every aspect of a child’s life (schooling/projects/sports). On top of that, we are expected to work and pretend as if we don’t have children at all. Working long days, early mornings and weekends. all while being available to employers 24/7, means working mothers are really stretched thin. So, where’s the help?
Working Mothers We Hear You
The ability to balance being a mother while having a career is a blessing, yet are we okay? We ask women to keep going, with minimal breaks, and to keep those feelings bottled up because otherwise they’re being irrational. Well, here’s the deal fellow working moms. You only have one life. One opportunity to be a mom, work a full-time job, and enjoy every moment. So how is it possible to do all of these things and find a moment of peace? Is there a way that we can actually balance all of the mayhem, and still find a moment to give our mind/body a break? Is it possible to be okay?
What Can You Do Mom?
We know you’re overworked and tired, and in no way is this article down-playing the stigma or exhaustively tiresome loads you bare, often silently. However, the fact remains that mothers must still keep going until these unequal societal norms completely change. In the meantime, you need to know that nobody’s opinion matters besides our Heavenly Father above, and that’s an absolute fact! How loving is He to know the depths of our hearts, understand who we are at our core, and hold our hands each and every day!
We also wanted to share with you a list of items conducive in helping ease your anxiety and make your busy mom-life less stressful each day. Here are five tips to help you move from being overwhelmed to okay.
“…the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you…” – Isaiah 41:13
1. Exercise
You guessed it mamma! Working out, getting that sweat on, and exerting yourself with physical activity is one of the best ways to keep your mind clear and get that excess stress literally off your shoulders. Studies at the University of British Columbia found that “exercise improves mood and sleep, and reduces stress and anxiety.” We know that both of those things, more sleep and less stress, equals a happy mom.
Even walking 30-minutes a day can get the heart pumping and glands sweating, which in turn burns stress and clears out that brain fog. Think about your future self, and if you already know your best intentions might not happen, have all of your work-out stuff set-up and ready to go so you have no excuses. You’re going to thank yourself for feeling better!
2. Hire Some Help!
There’s nothing like coming home to a freshly cleaned house. We all can’t afford a maid service though, so here are some other ideas:
- Use a close friend to help you tag team cleaning the house once a month and offer to do the same for that other person. Tag team cleaning day. Nothing like a friend to jam out to music, and get it done in no time at all! No judgement from your BFF.
- Try a cleaning chart so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. Monday: Kitchen, Tuesday: Bed Linen, Wednesday: Bathroom, and so on. Tip: clean the kitchen the night before trash service so it all goes out and doesn’t sit in the trash bin.
- One load of laundry a day is the kicker right here. Throw in washer in the morning, and dryer right before making dinner.
- Do a 15-20 minute nightly rundown. Get the kitchen squared away, that load of laundry folded from the dryer, and make sure to set up the coffee pot the night before so you can just click a button in the morning (unless it’s on a timer, then that’s even better!)
3. Talk it Out
Conversations with other working moms is a great way to talk it out. It allows you and the mom listening to know that they are not alone. This essentially builds a stronger emotional backbone for yourself and others.
Another way to talk it out is an unbiased opinion geared towards helping you seek answers to fit your situation. The word therapy has a stigma associated with it but in actuality, helping yourself work through a problem with the help of a trained professional doesn’t sound so bad after all! There are so many ways to build your emotional support team, even apps geared towards text-able conversations with a licensed therapist. So, get out there and talk it out!
Simplify Everything
Simplifying everything we come into contact with can be a true life-saver. Mothers want and need to maximize their efficiency with tasks by spending minimal time on them with excellent results! Here are some examples:
- Simplify dinners during the week, and really focus on a game-plan for dinner each night. A simple rule of thumb: dinner one night, leftovers the next; use a portion of meat that will be used in the next nights meal, and try prepping freezer meals (pop in oven & done!).
- Use those bill pay links through your online banking, one-click and done!
- Groceries, ugh, who wants to spend hours in the store, bumping carts with others, and standing in a mile long check-out line? Use those order ahead apps and pick-up groceries after work or have them delivered. No weekend shopping necessary!
- Try google doc’s for monthly calendars and link to apps such as, TimeTree. These calendars are color coded, easy to use, and a great daily reminder of “to-do’s” keeping entire family’s organized.
4. Say “No”
Learning to say no is hard for some moms as well as for many people in general. However, it is possible. Adding things to an already full plate is the absolute opposite of balancing life. Somewhere along the way it became inappropriate or impolite for a working mother/woman to simply say no. We often feel guilty for not wanting to commit to another task, outside our juggling capability. However, saying no effectively, with confidence, yet being polite is an absolute must.
5. Lean on Your Spiritual Foundation
Seek the Lord daily! The joy of the Lord is our strength. When we feel overwhelmed and discouraged, a quick prayer can bring us peace. In the midst of a stressful situation, we can turn to inspiring scriptures for clarity and encouragement. Find time each day to spend with God. You’ll feel closer to Him and more capable of handling the stresses of life.
Also, surround yourself with other believers. This could be your church-family, a small group or another faith-based organization. These fellow members and leaders “…love one another…” as Christ loved us (John 13:34-35). They also share our heavy burdens, and heal us through “powerful and effective” prayer (James 5:16). Essentially, these bonds of faith are beneficial to all things, our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
You are a Queen Mom!
You are a queen momma! Your children see you in a special way. We are so blessed to be called “Mom” and that’s something so wholeheartedly gratifying. While days are rough, and our burdens are deep, as you can see, you are not alone. You are not forgotten. All us working mothers see each other, we lift each other up, and we share our survival tips. We see you juggling life your way, balancing work and family, and just being a complete inspiration all the way around.
While working mothers may not be absolutely okay, we can actually see that despite the overwhelming odds, we can and will prevail!
Let us know you’re thoughts, and how you manage each day under pressure! What do you use for your support system? We’d love to hear from you! Sharing your advice will absolutely help another mother in the same boat! That’s what we can do as we continue to build this mom-community, lifting each other up each and every day!
This was actually really helpful. Thank you for taking the time to post practical tips. This is an article I’ll be referring back to often. Thanks again!